How can you respond to negative feedback?

Negative or constructive feedback is something I have always found challenging to hear. 

This week, I was lucky enough to be in a conversation with someone who provided some very honest feedback. 

They reflected that doing so is the kindest thing to do. 

It took me a while to get my head around what they were talking about, but I eventually understood that not providing the feedback meant that the recipient wouldn’t have the chance to do better next time. They were given a chance to learn and do better, which was indeed a very kind gesture.

Despite intentions, hearing this kind of feedback is rarely easy. Here are my suggestions for making the most of it and delivering better results next time.

Listen

When I hear negative feedback, I find myself getting defensive and wanting to explain why I took the action they are talking about. 

Taking a step back and listening to what they say will help you understand where they are coming from and give you a chance to learn. 

Understand what they are talking about

If someone gives you feedback and you don’t understand what they are talking about, ask them to provide an example. This will help you see what they are talking about in a practical light. 

Consider what could be done differently

Depending on who is providing the feedback, there could be a chance to discuss their views on what could be done differently next time. 

If it’s a senior or external stakeholder, they might not have the time or be the right person to have this conversation with. Use your judgement in this instance. 

Your manager is a good person to discuss this with. If you are bringing it to them for the first time, I recommend coming up with some ideas for how it could be managed differently. 

Take action, but don’t dwell

Ultimately, negative feedback is a tiny piece of your career puzzle. When you get some, learn from it and move on. Dwelling is not going to serve you well in the long term.