It’s not me, it’s you. What to do when your manager is just not cutting the mustard.

Having a good manager can be a huge benefit that helps to propel your career along. Like the right romantic partner, a good manager wants the best for you and will do what they can to help you achieve it. Your success is their success. When you’re not getting what you need from your manager, it can be really stressful and challenging, making work miserable. Here are some thoughts on how you can get the most out of your relationship with your manager and resolve any challenges that are making your work life hard.

1.        Get clear on what you need

Before any problem can be treated, you need a diagnosis. Figure out what it is that’s not working with your manager. Is it that you’re not getting feedback on how you are performing so you can improve? Are you lacking structure in your day to day tasks? Think about what the issue is so you can then start working towards solutions. If you are finding this difficult, make a note of times when you feel frustrated or unsure. Reflect back after a week to see if there is a pattern emerging that might have some clues around what isn’t working.

2.        Propose how you can get more out of the relationship

Once you have figured out what the sticking point might be, it’s a good time to talk to your manager about the issues you’re experiencing. I always recommend that you don’t just bring a problem, but some proposed solutions as well. It’s easy to fall into the mindset that it’s not your job or that your manager is paid more than you are, but I really recommend focussing on solving a problem rather than batting it to someone else. This approach is also likely to make the feedback less personal and more focussed on the challenge at hand.

Some potential solutions could be:

• Adding more structure to 1:1 catch ups so there is time for both operational and strategic conversations.

• Working together to set goals so you are both clear on what you are working towards.

• Ensuring you have the practical support you need from your manager, such as regular 1:1 catch ups, a clear understanding of what they expect from you and also the best channels for communicating with them.

3.        Seek out other mentors

Amidst challenges like this, it’s important to remember that managers are human and can’t be everything to everyone. They may have particular strengths and with this will likely be some weaknesses. If you have a manger that is very practical and process focussed, they may not be the best for more strategic support and ‘blue sky’ conversations.

If you find you’re not getting what you need, it could be a good opportunity to seek out a mentor that compliments your manager. If you are going down this path, I recommend being transparent with your manager so it doesn’t come as a surprise.  

4.        Know when it’s time to escalate

If you have made an attempt to resolve the issues you are experiencing and you’re still not getting the basic support that you need, such as clear expectations and regular touch points, it may be time to raise your concerns with HR. They will be keen to understand what you have already communicated with your manager and done to resolve the issue, so ensure that you have covered this off before you reach out to them for support. It goes without saying that if you are experiencing unfair treatment, bullying or being put in unsafe situations at work, you should certainly raise these concerns with HR so you can get the support you need to get these issues resolved.